carving a name into my heart: fishy speaks up about love

hello blog ppl,
well today im going to do something i havent done yet. im going to tell u about my non existent love life and my views on love.
to start off let me give u guys my definition of love. well giving a straight up definition is difficult but ill give u some criteria which must be met for me to call it love. firstly, love doesnt come and go easily, basically ur not gonna fall in love every couple of yrs. i believe u only truly fall in love no more than a couple of times during ur lifetime. basically, i cant stand those girls (and some of u guys) who think theyre in love with every bf/gf theyve ever had. i cant stand those teen girls and even girls my age who run around all the time "oh my god, im so in love with him and we re getting married", then sure enough within a few months they break up and the girl whines about how her heart is all broken, but woohoo, wait a minute, within a couple of months she finds someone new to fall in love with, and the cycle begins all over again, only to keep repeating itself.

secondly, if u do fall in love with someone, ull never completely get over them, something significant of them will always remain with you.
third, love takes time to happen, there is no such thing as love at first sight, there can be liking at first sight which later grows into love, but real love never comes that quick.
last but not least, when you love someone u know them well, so ur not inlove when uve just met the person (which i mentioned above). when ur in love u dont have to act infront of eachother, theres no show to put up. u r who u r, and the other person knows that.

well we just covered what i think love is, now ill move on to tell u about my love life. i have had crushes and i have liked guys etc. but i cant honestly say that ive ever loved any of them, i know i liked them, but it wasnt love. i know this because, if it didnt work out between us i got over it. maybe getting over it wasnt quick, but it did happen. one thing ive noticed about myself, is that i dont give my heart away all at once, and i think some ppl may have expected me to. i give it gradually. a little part at time, once i feel safe and comfy enough, i give another little piece. i dont think ive given anyone much. except for maybe one person. i gave him a chunk of my heart and he pretty much bruised and bashed it. i dont think it was intentional, i think it was just outta his stupidity. ofcourse i still like this guy, but i dont think its love, cuz i know eventually (inshallah) i will get over him. i know i should be over him by now, but i dont think i really am, and i kinda hate myself for it. i guess i just havent gotten decent closure, so thats why its taking this long.

another thing about me and love, i think being in love would be great. but im not a smushy mushy person. romance is cute. but some ppl just make love (Which in their case, most of the time is just a crush that wont last) look sick and gross :l u know, every lil while "oh i missed u" and they sit their hanging on eachother and theyre just stuck in a sick way :l u know they sit next to eachother at restaraunts, they get all giggly. im sorry thats not my stuff. like i said romance is great but what they do is not romance. i think its nice when u can be friends around eachother, u dont always have to be mushy. get wut i mean?

anyways, i should get going now. as of now i still havent carved any mans name into my heart. who knows when or if itll happen *sigh*

bubyes
*singing: You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you*