fish sticks dont amuse ppl or meet their expectations

hey blog people
Today I saw an old friend of mine and we were talking and all. Shes like maha how can u live like this and do nothing bla bla bla. I found what she said kinda offensive. Cuz ya3ni aish da5alik with what I do with my life, wuts ur problem. I don’t think she meant to be rude but it got to me. U see I graduated in june and ive been pretty much doing nothing since then. And shes talking about maha why don’t u work. First of all I applied for jobs but so far nothing interesting has come along. Either way I decided I wanted a break. I want a few more months of nothing. Cuz khalas once I work ill be committed to my work I wont have any long vacations or anything. Either way, my point is, why do I have to explain myself to u. ive always hated that feeling of needing to explain. U know when ppl wanna know why ur doing or not doing something (basically cuz they disapprove, it’s their personal opinion, not like ur doing anything morally wrong). I cant meet everyones expectations and I wouldn’t want to.
Another example of something which annoys me, is like once one of my friends asked me why I don’t get manicures (she said it as if it’s the norm to do manicures, anyone who doesn’t get them is just weird :l). i don’t grow my nails, I don’t put nail polish, but I keep my nails clean and tidy, so wuts the problem?:l is it just cuz I don’t color them and grow them and shape them? The same thing with makeup. Ive got a couple of friends who would ask me why don’t wear makeup and they say I should. For heavens sake, im just not a makeup girl, I don’t go telling them not t o wear make up. 3aaaa3 8<
Ofcourse the things ive mentioned so far may seem small and sillyish but at times it gets really annoying and it just gets me stubborn. There was a point in my life where I had all kinds of goals which had nothing to do with what I really wanted but they were all about proving the world wrong. for example, I wanted to join the army to prove that I as a woman could be strong and get a high rank, add to that my 7ijab. So in the end id be proving that an arab muslim woman could do it. And I still feel like I wanna prove the world wrong sometimes but I figure that it ends up hurting me the most. I don’t want people dictating how I should be or how I shouldn’t be. Don’t think that im some kinda loud dirty rebel. Ya3ni im nothing extreme or disgusting, yet ppl don’t always accept me cuz im not exactly like them. Im no Barbie, and I don’t wanna be one.
Anyways, im hoping (inshallah) that I wont pay too much attention to annoying ppl and I wont waste my time or lose sight of the goals I really wanna achieve while trying to prove the world wrong. Just let me be world.
Bubyes blog people