The Cynical Fishy

Someone I know told me I should make a blog. So here I am, I made one! My blog has no specific purpose or anything. I guess I'll just have fun with it.

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

The Unread Post

Hello my currently none existent readers. I know no one visits blog anymore, but if anyone reads this then hello :D I just needed to write some of my thoughts down.
So life constantly smacks me, whether it’s smack in the face which just crushes me or a smack of happiness. I feel as if life can’t be planned. Well, let me rephrase, my life can’t be planned. I can plan short term things, like a trip to the mall, a vacation with juju or something, but major things in my life, I cant plan. I feel as if most other ppl have their lives going according to plan, or atleast close to the outline of their plan, whether they’re married, studying, working or all 3. You know, they’d say something like I’m gonna do my masters after I graduate and I plan on getting married, and oh well they do. Mashallah, im happy for them, I hope they get what they want from life. But then I take a look at my life and well life just happens to me, apparently I cant plan it. At one point I planned to do my masters, after much confusion, I didn’t, main reason is because I got a job. I thought id have a certain kind of job, but I didn’t, it was crappy. I thought I’d be married by now or atleast be interested in someone decent, but I’m not. Alhamdulilah so far its all turned out to be for the best. I realized that it’s a good thing I didn’t go do my masters degree cuz I wouldn’t have liked it and I may not have found a job when I graduated. I hated my previous job and I was gonna try my best and complain to move somewhere else and I was regretting accepting my job and not doing my masters, but then alhamdulilah I got transferred and I’m happier where I am now.
Anyways, maybe I shouldn’t be complaining because after a lot of confusion, anger and frustration, life eventually picks something for me which is atleast mediocre, and not bad. But I’d like think I could plan something. I'd like to think that the effort and thought I put into things would actually help me. And being the type of person that I am, I’m very well organized and like having things planned out. So u can imagine the frustration I’m going through when I realize I cant plan anything in my life 
I guess that’s it for writing my thoughts down. Thank you invisible people for allowing me to share my feelings.