The Cynical Fishy

Someone I know told me I should make a blog. So here I am, I made one! My blog has no specific purpose or anything. I guess I'll just have fun with it.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Eatin ice cream and thinking the world is just so messed up

Hello ppl
I was originally gonna write about nonsense but then my mood completely changed and I feel like bitching. But ill be nice and talk about stupid stuff first before I start my complaining.
Well today I was thinking ‘how do ppls ears get that dirty?’ u know sometimes u see ppl with clumps in their ears or orange wax coming out. I don’t know how they do it :l I would think showering was enuf to get ur ears clean. Well I don’t know how they manage to get them that dirty but alhamdulilah I take care of my ears :)
Hmm, wut else to talk about. I had a fist fight with my bro today :D I was going up to the laundry room and he was already there. He got me wet, and I got angry and we started punching each other (don’t worry it wasn’t bloody, it was playful) it makes me wonder if other ppl my age fight with their older bros.. either way its fun, it’s a good work out and gives u some fighting experience (u know for self defense, just incase someone tries attackin me)
Ok, that’s enuf for nonsense, lets move on to the bitching :D
Well, I just watched “Hotel Rwanda” (missed the first 20 mins though). I thought it was very touching and I cried a few times (I have a bad habit of crying from movies, hehe) anyways, the movie reminded me of how much I hate the world because of human stupidity and evilness. Its sick when a war breaks out, what reason is good enuf to justify killin hundreds of ppl :l its not only the army or groups/sects of ppl who r evil but even on the micro level. Individual ppl r evil too :l uve got ppl either killing or beating other ppl. U know what sux even more? The damage done min ta7t la ta7t (u know, stuff u wouldn’t notice). ppl go around yi7sidoo other ppl or even doing si7r to them. And u just hear about it all the time. Cant they just say mashallah and wish the best for the person, do they have try to take away wuts good :l freaking jealous assholes. Ya3ni wuts bothering them so much that they have to have good things taken away from others :l im sorry to say this but I think most ppl suck. Not saying im perfect, but alhamdulilah I haven’t done anything I mentioned above and inshallah I never will. I wouldn’t wanna say I hope all of them die, id just like to live on my own lil island. Let everyone screw up the world or other ppl any way they want, just leave me alone.
Anyways, enuf for now
Ill leave u with my singing :D
Bubyes blog ppl
*singing: oh crystal ball, crystal ball, save us all, tell me life is beautiful. Mirror mirror on the wall. oh crystal ball, Hear my song, im fading out, everything I know is wrong...*

Thursday, August 17, 2006

95% Muslim, 4.75 % American and 0.25% Saudi

hello blog ppl,
well, this is more of a serious post. sorry, not much retardedness/fun to write about these days. my life has flipped around and become pretty much uneventful. so the only thing i can write about these days is myself :P a lil bit of self discovery.
anyways, this post is about who i am, what i feel and the different components of me (its all me me me me :D )
so, id like to think a big of part who i am is being a muslim. id also like to think that im on the religiousish side (or atleast relative to ppl my age with my amount of freedom etc etc) but ofcourse there are ppl who think im over religious and then there are those ppl who would say im bound to be eternally damned in hell. but it all depends on whos judging me and their beliefs, its basically all just relative. for my religious beliefs and behavior, ofcourse ill mainly thank Allah, but there are some ppl im thankful for too. i thank my mama for raising me properly. she taught me a bunch of things which made me who i am. she always used to tell me that it doesnt matter what ppl see u do or dont see u do, but God can see u all the time. she also taught me that if i ever sin, i shouldnt give up or think im a bad person, i should pray and ask God for forgiveness and that God is the most merciful. she even told me i can id3ee in english cuz God understands all languages ( hehe, i know its stupid, but its important to me). id also like to thank those good friends of mine. those girls who were mua7ajabat and didnt mess around with guys etc. i think those friends helped keep me in place and not go wrong. growing up i had all kinds of friends and a bunch of them did so many things which i would think are wrong. but there were those few girls who were good, just having them around was a good influence. and sometimes when life gets tough and u look around, if u have those friends, it makes it all seem easier. probably only 2 of the girls im talking about will read this, but i thank those 2 for being around and being who they are and i also thank the other ones (who wont be reading this).

next up, i think im 4.75% american. i wouldve never thought i was that american before. but lately ive noticed that i am. its not like i ud notice me in a crowd of saudis, i dont stand out that much. but if u talk to me and get to know me or just observe me (dont go stalking me though :l) ud realise that i am very different. a few months ago while travelling i met some americans and from just talking to them i realised how much i had in common with them. i felt at home speaking to them.(akh my moms distracting me, so my thoughts arent comming out right :s)

last but not least is the 0.25% saudi part of me. i love my country and i think im quite the patriot but other than that i dont think theres anything else thats saudi about me.

anyways, thats it.... i didnt write this post to make myself look cool or above others and at the same time i didnt write it to feel belittled. i just wrote it as an expression of who i am. just a description. i dont regret any part of who i am, although at times its difficult. but i wouldnt change a thing.

bubyes blog world

Thursday, August 03, 2006

carving a name into my heart: fishy speaks up about love

hello blog ppl,
well today im going to do something i havent done yet. im going to tell u about my non existent love life and my views on love.
to start off let me give u guys my definition of love. well giving a straight up definition is difficult but ill give u some criteria which must be met for me to call it love. firstly, love doesnt come and go easily, basically ur not gonna fall in love every couple of yrs. i believe u only truly fall in love no more than a couple of times during ur lifetime. basically, i cant stand those girls (and some of u guys) who think theyre in love with every bf/gf theyve ever had. i cant stand those teen girls and even girls my age who run around all the time "oh my god, im so in love with him and we re getting married", then sure enough within a few months they break up and the girl whines about how her heart is all broken, but woohoo, wait a minute, within a couple of months she finds someone new to fall in love with, and the cycle begins all over again, only to keep repeating itself.

secondly, if u do fall in love with someone, ull never completely get over them, something significant of them will always remain with you.
third, love takes time to happen, there is no such thing as love at first sight, there can be liking at first sight which later grows into love, but real love never comes that quick.
last but not least, when you love someone u know them well, so ur not inlove when uve just met the person (which i mentioned above). when ur in love u dont have to act infront of eachother, theres no show to put up. u r who u r, and the other person knows that.

well we just covered what i think love is, now ill move on to tell u about my love life. i have had crushes and i have liked guys etc. but i cant honestly say that ive ever loved any of them, i know i liked them, but it wasnt love. i know this because, if it didnt work out between us i got over it. maybe getting over it wasnt quick, but it did happen. one thing ive noticed about myself, is that i dont give my heart away all at once, and i think some ppl may have expected me to. i give it gradually. a little part at time, once i feel safe and comfy enough, i give another little piece. i dont think ive given anyone much. except for maybe one person. i gave him a chunk of my heart and he pretty much bruised and bashed it. i dont think it was intentional, i think it was just outta his stupidity. ofcourse i still like this guy, but i dont think its love, cuz i know eventually (inshallah) i will get over him. i know i should be over him by now, but i dont think i really am, and i kinda hate myself for it. i guess i just havent gotten decent closure, so thats why its taking this long.

another thing about me and love, i think being in love would be great. but im not a smushy mushy person. romance is cute. but some ppl just make love (Which in their case, most of the time is just a crush that wont last) look sick and gross :l u know, every lil while "oh i missed u" and they sit their hanging on eachother and theyre just stuck in a sick way :l u know they sit next to eachother at restaraunts, they get all giggly. im sorry thats not my stuff. like i said romance is great but what they do is not romance. i think its nice when u can be friends around eachother, u dont always have to be mushy. get wut i mean?

anyways, i should get going now. as of now i still havent carved any mans name into my heart. who knows when or if itll happen *sigh*

*singing: You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you
You'd be like Heaven to touch
I wanna hold you so much
At long last love has arrived
And I thank God I'm alive
You're just too good to be true
Can't take my eyes off you*